Been a long time since I poked around on this bloggy bloggy doo doo. But today is a new day! Sorta. Ya know.
Anyway: I’m gonna go ahead and nip this in the bud, as efficiently as I can in terms of delivery, so here y’all go:
Critiques and thangs:
Gonna start out by talking about my palpable nerd excitement for an upcoming title that I’ve had on reserve for awhile now, and that game, lady geeks and gentle-uh, geeks, is; Hitman: Absolution.
Now I’ve been waiting for another Hitman since the days of Blood Money, but their better than ever, new-and-improved deliciousness (design, graphics, etc.) made me cry…ya know, inside…cry out of pure joy (tears on the inside are good for maintaining a hydrated body and soul).
Take a look at this tasty deliciousness: http://youtu.be/LU1z95zFH4g
There’s an awful part of me that wants to make a mission where you have to destroy all the old ladies like those little bastard shit wizard fairies from Adventure Time: http://youtu.be/73t6e7JrNGQ
Anyway, stoked for that. Looks gorgeous, looks intelligent, looks funner (should be a word) than ever and the design seems sleek and fluid, and who the hell doesn’t wanna be bald, look ultra swag in a suit all the time, and have a barcode on the back of their head?…oh, just me?…gotcha.
ONTO THE NEXT: My ten favorite games…
Poop shit, that is a toughy.
Why? Chess is probably the most fundamental and telling strategic games of all time. What I mean by that, is you can kind of tell a bit about a person by they play chess. Not only is it the ultimate psychological poker face game, it also relies on ones ability to predict, sacrifice, and outsmart their opponent. I have a tendency to walk away from a chess game, win or lose with some abstract (yet somehow tangible) Art of War (Sun Tzu) wisdom. I’d rank it higher, but I think chess is such a given, it could be ranked at any number amidst my favorites.
NINE!: Super Smash Bros
Why? Pikachu, Down+B, C stick left and right…no better way to kick extreme amounts of ass and lose extreme amounts of respect for yourself at the same time. Always fun to play with friends, it’s deliciously extensive in terms of selection, and the variables of slow character vs. fast character with their signature moves is sorta like mixing a bunch of sodas together in a bottle, and shaking it up until it explodes with only one flavor prevailing. Awesome. Classic. Social. Fun.
EIGHT: Max Payne
And I mean the old and the new, I’ve been playing it since the days of old. When you’re a ten year old boy, and you see The Matrix for the first time, and then your (debatably moral) parent lets you play a shooter that has a bullet time element…not only are there pants to be pissed in, but the wildest of childhood fantasies of being a misunderstood alcoholic cop with a painkiller addiction, who can somehow slow time when he jumps and shoots guns, can FINALLY, FINALLY be satisfied.
SEVEN!: Grand Theft Auto
WHY?! Again, game I grew up with. The creme della creme of video game taboos, that rebellious yellow “Rockstar” logo on the front of the box that just screams “YOUR PARENTS DO NOT WANT YOU PLAYING THIS”. Rockstar does an amazing job with sandbox style games, and definitely has a monopoly on the “live vicariously through a criminal’s life” story telling down to a science. Immersive, detailed, edgy, and God damn is it violent.
Gotta catch ’em all. Combines strategy, elemental knowledge, leveling, traveling, and delicious rivalry all into a neat little 8 bit package that I will never get sick of. I’m twenty, I’ll still kick your ass with my Haunter any day of the week. ‘Nuff said.
FIVE!: Call of Duty
I can’t begin to even count the hours…nor would I want to, that I’ve spent as a collective, playing this game until my eyes dried up so bad and turned so red, that they spewed psychotic nerd rage focus lasers at my tv screen until I pwn’d the hell out of some scrub ass newbs. This FPS franchise has a brilliant incentivized competitive multiplayer aspect to it (scoreboards, and death matches), customization (weapons, classes, sensitivity, perks, kill streaks, etc.) and not to mention legitimate skill. I never get tired of shit talking prepubescent preteens while I lay waste to them with sub machine guns and predator missles. Never, ever, gets old.
Why: …beautiful environments, gripping steam punk style art direction, endless intensity. I’ve never been so terrified, yet so in love with a game before I’d played Bioshock. This game too allows the player to manipulate things with elemental abilities with the macabre lore of it all being in a post-disaster underwater paradise gone horribly, horribly corrupt.
THREE: Assassin’s Creed
If you don’t like jumping from roof top to roof top in ancient rome, stealthily ending the lives of corrupt templar politicians with hidden blades in a massive conspiracy story that makes you question actual history…go play some Battle Toads man. This game is not for you. I’ve been enjoying this saga for the past couple years, and cannot wait for the next installment. Beautiful fighting and parkour fluidity, beautiful environments, rich story. Yes.
After a long day, coming home to my cat, a cup of tea, and some Hitman, makes me think it is one of the finer things in life. Hitman is another assassin genre game where the player must use their wit and stealthy strategy to be able to get away clean with “taking out the trash”. The premise is what keeps it so great I think, you feel so badass and spooky sneaking around, choking people with fiber wire, stealing their clothes, and casually using their disguise to gain entrance to the domain of your target. Just thrilling, challenging, taboo, yet delicious.
Probably not a surprise! Level 64 dark elf. I find the leveling metrics, the beautiful environment, the radiant quests, the endless narrative, and free will of this massive sandbox epic to be…well epic. I type this as I look over at my Limited Edition dragon bust who rests proudly upon an ancient dov’ carving. Bethesda produces very immersive, very open, very livable games. Skyrim lets you go somewhere else, and be anybody else, satisfying any “I wonder what it’d be like if:” question that might come to mind and beyond (within the reason of the game of course). I have a proud/sad amount of hours pooped into this game, and the things I’ve learned from imagining the process of it’s creation have been invaluable to me. Without a doubt, my most sacred game (and RIP Alex Adamowicz, one of the head artists at Bethesda who passed away a few months back).
Anyway, onto some little pitches:
1. This one, I think is the one I’m going to shoot for: You’re a square, and you change color and must shoot your compliment amidst hordes of other colors. Power ups can turn all horde into the same anti-compliment for a limited amount of time, as well as other yet-to-be-decided power-ups to keep the pace of the game intense and changing.
2. Might be fun to do a classic storytelling type game: Path, A, B, or C, game that parallels those “choose your own adventure” books. Haven’t really fleshed out the deets, but a cute little nerd quest, fight some monsters as the awkward hero, wind up with cute girl (story of my life) kinda plot would be fun.
3. Goofy ass idea, probably the most nebulous in concept, is a beat boxing battle game. I’d like to make insanely bad beat boxing recordings of myself, and have a level-up type game where you use your beat boxing to somehow side scroll and kick asses. The more asses you kick, the more words become available, the more you find yourself laughing. I imagine it being poorly drawn and charmingly absurd.